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His lust-filled eyes looked deep into me as I pound his hot hole with my hard passionate aggression. Each thrust met with a groan of exhaustive ecstasy. Sweat dripping..hearts beating…I could hardly recover from each thrust as I edged intensely towards climax. Riding the edge never felt so good. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed.
I first saw him as I walked into the bar to hang with friends. Seemed like a shy sort of guy despite the rough exterior. Too tough to care, but the split second lock of our eyes told of something else. I slowly looked around saying hello to my friends and ordering up a drink, while casually keeping track of his every move.
Typical Friday night out with the guys. We’re all horny guys, sometimes enjoying each other a little too much…or not enough... depending on the day of the week or need. Good friends are hard to come by and like-minded friends are even harder to find. We’ve all fucked each other at one time or another. It’s just the way it is.
I walked up to the bar after a couple of drinks. As I walked by we caught eyes again. I smiled as if not to really notice while he kept talking to his buddy on the stool next to him. Drink in hand I passed by, slightly closer, where I caught a good whiff of his rough scent. Oh man! Way better than poppers!
I get back to the guys, set down my drink and head to the bathroom to take a piss. Right behind me he walks in standing at the urinal next to me.
“Hey” I say. “What’s going on?”
“Hey, man. Not much. Enjoying yourself?”
“Yeah..happy Friday. What’s up with you?”
“Hanging…looking for trouble.”
Good gawd he was fucking hot. So casual about it and deceptively shy. His rough exterior and warm soul reminded me of those nights I spent with my cousin, playing fort as kids. My cousin was hot, well muscled and about 4 years older than me. I used to love it when he tackled me and let me scratch his back.
As he continues to pee I finish up and walk right behind him. I press my now hard cock against his ass, still trapped in my pants. He pushes back as if to accept the offer. I reach down into his pants and feel a warm fuzzy ass that needs attention. I slide my finger through the center of those round hairy cheeks, finding it warmer and hotter than before. He slowly pushes back while he braces his hands against the wall over the urinal for added support.
This once shy guy now seems more aggressive than originally thought. I wrap my left arm around to feel his pecs while I pull out my hand, lick my finger and work my way back down between his manly ass cheeks. I rub his hot hole and plunge my finger into its waiting bud while I lick the back of his sweaty neck. I pull my finger out only to put it into his mouth saying “How’s that ass taste? Think I could get a taste of it?”
He pushes back and our eyes meet in the mirror as I watch him suck on the finger that was just fucking his hole.
“Come on. We better get outta here.”
We leave the restroom, finish our drinks and head to my place.
Not long after the door closes our clothes are off and we are naked. His body feels so good as I kiss his sweet lips, surrounded by a patch of rough shadow, which drives me nuts and reminds me of his manly exterior. He smells of beer and sweat - a dirty fuck - but a beautifully sweet soul.
His rough hands grab my lower back and pull me into his body, while I reach around to feel his fuzzy sweet ass. I push him to the bed, that hairy ass looking at me with anticipation. I tell him to show me his ass. He points it out and up as if presenting for a blue ribbon, an offering I can’t refuse. I lean in and nuzzle his hole with my nose so I can feel his soft hair while smelling the crack of his ass filled with the aroma of his man-scented hole. Fuck the poppers. This ass is sweet.
Reaching between his legs to grab his now dripping, hard cock I slowly tongue fuck his butt. Probing ever so slowly and deeper. Hearing his moans of pleasure turns me on I can’t resist it. I grab his hips from below and yank his ass backwards onto my tongue, tongue fucking his hot hairy hole, tasting the smooth interior of his anal wall. Warming up that hole brings the signs of willingness and hunger. I wrap my arms around his chest and rub my hard cock against his round ass, taunting his opening. He pushes back as if to say “Fuck me please.”
His cock dripping with excitement, he expels moans of ecstasy as I bite his ear lobe from behind. I can smell his dirty beer-laden breath with every exhaustive exhale and moan. His sweat is salty and he smells like a man pig.
My cock feels so hot against that hairy hole. I lube it up with a palm of spit, continuing to stroke his hard cock. I tease that hole until he wants it so bad he takes it from me and fucks his hungry ass with my cock. I hardly need to work. Pushing back hard he almost sits up on my cock while poking his hungry butt. He is relentless as I say “You wanted that, didn’t you? Oh yeah…fuck your hole with my hard cock. Fuck that butt! Let me hear you enjoying my cock.”
We push and pull as I fuck his sweet ass from behind, all the while stroking his cock and now pinching his nipples. The shudders of pleasure from his body and the moans of his excitement turn me on uncontrollably. We edge almost to completion, stopping short of ecstasy to make it last. I want it so bad but want it to last forever. I want to fuck that sweet ass until I can no longer control my urge to buck and thrust as each shot of pleasure shoots from my cock.
He is close and he is moaning loudly, and violently pushing back against my cock, a hot verbal bottom no longer in control of what his mind or mouth says. He screams and yells “Oh yeah. Fuck my hot hole! I want it. Please! Please! Fuck my ass. I need it.”
Knowing his pleasure is being driven by my hard cock makes me edge closer and closer until he screams and yells as he shoots a hot stream of cum across the sheets below. With each spurt he yells and moans with no regard for sound. This sets off a chain reaction that makes me whimper with disbelief as I thrust and cum in his hot hairy hole. We thrust, cum and quiver until our legs give out and we slowly become aware of each other again.
We collapse on the cum-soaked bed and rest in each other’s sweaty presence. I get up, wipe his cum off of my hand and bring him a towel. We clean each other lovingly like a mother tends to her pups. When all is said and done the room begins to fill with idle talk.He says to me “Damn. That was hot. I so needed that.”
Exhausted and tranquil I reply, “Oh yeah. We need to do that again and soon”.
The guy turns to me and says, “I have HIV. I hope you’re cool with that.”
I am instantly terrified as to what I hear. Being so not prepared to hear this, I reply “No. No issues here,” secretly panicking as I try to figure out a way to get him out of my place.
We chit chat for a few more minutes. I make the first move and begin getting dressed, a sure subliminal message to get up and get out! He gets dressed while I play it off as casual, silently pleading for him to get going.
We kiss and hug as I make a lame excuse about having to get up early. He leaves. “Let’s do that again.” I passively say “Sure. Let’s keep in touch.”
After closing the door I race to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror, wondering if I can see anything…any sign of anything. My skin is hot and panic is the only feeling I have. I see nothingness, guilt, remorse and sheer stupidity. I don’t know what to feel.
I knew better. I always play safe. I get tested all the time. I know better. Now what? How could I be so stupid? Why this time?
I panic and reach out to a friend who assures me I have nothing to worry about saying, “You’re a top. It’s not likely.”
I counter, “What?? We barebacked?”
After an hour on the phone and rationalizing that all was ok, I have a sleepless night of wonder.
I wake up tired and still worried. I try to play it off as nothing. I am tense and wish now I had just stayed home like I usually do. My weekend is horrible and lasts way too long. I get back to work on Monday, keeping myself busy hoping to drown out that big voice I hear “How could you be so stupid? You know better!”
I push it back with denial and pretend it didn’t happen. He tries to reach me several times over the next couple of days. I am busy. I play it off. It was just a trick. Who cares?
I do! I am worried and terrified. As I comb the Internet for new information and statistics I feel helpless and alone. I can’t believe how stupid I have been. I vow never again. I have played so safely for so long. Why this time? But it’s too late. I can’t change the facts now.
I do an exhaustive search on the Internet for information. Information abounds but there is only a common thread. I must wait months before I can be sure. Visions of those I have met with HIV flash before my eyes. The compassion I shared toward them now turns to self-loathing. I don’t want to be sick. I am blinded by panic and denial becomes an immediate ally, pushing back the fear to no success.
Regret turns to many sleep-deprived nights. I feel terrible. How can so few moments of pleasure result in such regret?
Days pass. I continue combing the Internet where I read that I must realistically wait 3 months for confirmation. But I can’t wait that long. I head to an HIV testing center within 3 weeks. The HIV antibody test returns negative. But I didn’t wait the prescribed 3 months. The short relief turns to regret again and remorse. Why was I so careless this time?
More months pass. Actually, 2 months, 3 days, 10 hours and 15 minutes when I am finally seen at a local clinic. Blood is drawn and now I wait. Again! I fucking have to wait again!
I am worried. I am angry. I feel stupid and I feel alone. The long week of waiting again is exhausting. The test comes back…..negative. But I still didn’t wait the prescribed 3 months. Again the relief turns to regret again. I am worried. I am helpless.
I experience sadness and I spend a lot of time alone. I can’t believe this is happening to me . I have been so good so why was I so careless this time?
Another 3 months pass and I have finally passed over the 6-month mark. During the last 3 months I had no choice but to come to accept that it is what it is. Acceptance was my friend as I push back the self-hatred I had been experiencing. There is nothing I can do now, while I silently affirm how stupid I had been. I had come to realize that many people today are living with HIV. Some of them very close friends, other not. Living with HIV is not the end.
As I sit in the waiting room with my head hung with self-pity and shame, I again wait to be called for my results. Looking around the room the many posted “awareness” messages taunt me with regret, fear and ridicule. I turn and see a guy that too is waiting, looking weak and ravaged with illness. He is visibly sick and I wonder.
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