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Tantra is My Mantra

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Tantra is the use of things and behaviors in the physical world to have a spiritual experience. Some Tantric Yogis stand on one foot for a decade or more. Some create elaborate mandala designs on temple floors with colored grains of sand.

And some…JUST FUCK! A LOT! Really, really well! To be sexual is TO BE spiritual. Are pigs spiritual?

Shakti Boy’s real name was Shakti Boy. His parents, Mario and Elizabeth, were the Venice Beach, teepee-inhabiting, meditation practicing, herbal types who had met at an ashram in India and conceived their only son in a cave in the Kashmiri section of the Himalaya mountains. Shakti Boy grew up, however, in Long Beach after Mario and Elizabeth returned from the mystic East.

At 16, Shatki Boy’s hormones ran like savage mustangs through his long, skater-sculpted body. It made his sexy black hair frizz when he kept it long, over his sky-blue eyes. It almost seeped out the pores of his smooth, golden skin so you could smell how horny he was… ALL… THE… TIME!

Mario had made marks on the bathroom door from hammering on it with his fist twice a day to get in while, inside, Shakti Boy beat his meat furiously and shouted, “Just a frickin’ minute I’m takin’ a frickin’ crap.”

To which his father replied, “If you keep trying to pull your crap out of your dick, I’m going to piss all over myself.”

Shakti Boy could not help himself. The hornies, he called the urge, kept him in this burning, restless state, shifting 8 inches around in his sagger camo shorts so they wouldn’t tent. He thought he would lose his mind. Until he got fucked and fucked good.

The first time was with Aaron Huang, a wrestler at school who liked boys as far from his parents’ ideal of a pristine Asian girlfriend as he could find. And who he knew he could fuck. Aaron was an aggressive top and Shakti Boy didn’t have much choice after school, between the outside of the gym building and the freeway wall.

Not that he wanted a choice. He discovered a natural ability to arch his lower back and ride. Aaron was a good first time fuck. And third, fifth, sixth, seventh and twelfth. Within his first six months of becoming sexually active, Shakti Boy worked out the pressure of the hornies with 3 gay classmates, 5 straight ones, a grocery bagger attending Cal State Long Beach, and a Marine on the Blue Line going up to LA.

Mario and Elizabeth knew their Shakti Boy was sexually active. Mom’s do the laundry; they know. At night in bed, they discussed why it was that they never saw their beloved only son with any partners. No coy girl calling on the phone. No best buddy up in his room making strange giggling noises.

Mario joked, “Not even a chicken! Ha ha ha ha!” But when they tried to have a rap session about sex with him, Shakti Boy clammed up. Sometimes a very liberal household needs a couple of well-positioned privacy walls. Mario and Elizabeth respected this. So they called Devi.

Devi, Elizabeth’s 1st cousin, had a son, Shiva, with wild blonde dreds, sea green eyes, a surfer’s form and he dressed always in bright colors like yellow and fuscia. He had lived in India with his mother for two years while she studied Tantra in a small town northeast of Mumbai. 18 turning 19 in December, Shiva had just finished high school in San Diego. Before he left for UC Davis in the Fall, came to Mario and Elizabeth’s house in Long Beach to stay for a month in the summer. He came for Shakti Boy.

Shiva had known Shakti Boy when they were kids. Elizabeth had noted that Shiva always took care of his younger second cousin and taught him things like skateboarding, fishing off a pier, and cutting up his clothes to make them look cooler.

Mario took Shiva aside the first evening of his visit and told him, “Look Shiva, man, Shakti Boy’s been getting things going but we don’t think he knows much more beyond the tip of his dick. So we were hoping you could hang out with him and talk to him about love and how to apply what he’s doing to something higher. It’s OK if you talk to him. We’ve got no issues with his having sex; we just don’t want him to miss an opportunity because he doesn’t know what sex can do, you know?”

“I know, Uncle Mario,” said blonde dredlocks older cousin Shiva.

Shiva and Shakti Boy skated a lot in the days, ate ice cream and Funyons™ in the afternoons, stole into 2 movies at a time in the evenings and talked late, late, late in Shakti Boy’s room while the moon ran over the stars, leaving them to the pink sky, low on the eastern horizon.

One of those nights a week and a half into Shiva’s visit, he turned to his second cousin and asked him, “Do you know how to kiss?”

Shakti Boy said, “Shut up” but smiled.

Shiva said, “No, I’m serious. Your pop says you don’t have any girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever but you’ve been getting around. So do you know what you’re doing or are you just puppy dog?”

“What’s puppy dog mean?” asked Shakti Boy, not sure if he should be annoyed but feeling OK because Shiva’s voice was open and calm.

“You know.. sniffs around everywhere; he’ll lick anything. Puppy dogs don’t know enough not to put garbage in their mouths.”

“Fuck that!” and Shakti Boy threw a punch at Shiva’s chest. Shiva caught his cousin’s lame punch and held onto Shakti Boy’s hand. “So you don’t know how to kiss.”

“Why don’t you show me, Asshole,” laughed Shakti Boy.

Shiva pulled hard on Shakti Boy’s hand and Shakti Boy fell toward Shiva who caught his chin in his strong, warm hand. Shiva held Shakti Boy’s face up to his own and looked straight into his crystal blue eyes for a long time. Shakti Boy looked back, mouth open in wonder and surprise, at the strong gaze of the velvet green eyes of Shiva.

Then, when they breathed at the same time in and out, Shiva leaned in quick and kissed him. Kissed him on pillow lips, pulling breath out of Shakti Boy’s mouth; pulling sensation up from Shakti Boy’s gut through his heart and out through his mouth.

Sensation came through his eyes, still open and gazing directly into Shiva’s unwavering gaze at him. They caught their breaths and kissed, now holding each other by the back of the head, fingers in black hair and blonde hair. They ran their hands down each other’s long backs shaped by waves of muscles, all the time open eyed and gazing with wonder into each other’s clear, clear eyes. They parted from each other’s lips and gasped breathlessly, but for every lungful Shakti Boy gulped in, Shiva matched him and made his own breath follow the same rhythm, in and out, of Shakti Boy’s.

“What are you doing?” sighed Shakti Boy.

“I’m matching your breath with mine. I’m hooking into you inside through our eyes. You have mine to go as far into as you like.” said Shiva.

“This is kissing?” said Shakti Boy.

“This is Tantra with kissing. You go inside while using the outside to get there,” explained Shiva.

“Where inside do you go?” asked Shakti Boy.

“Do you want me to show you?” offered Shiva.

“Yeah,” replied Shakti Boy, “Show me what you know. I want to feel whatever is inside of us. If your kissing me makes my toes gush and my heart open up like a flower, I want to feel what happens if we do something deeper.”

Shiva pulled Shakti boy closer, into his lap and holding Shakti Boy’s back straight up with his strong surfer’s hands, he kissed Shakti Boy deeply, his tongue and Shakti Boy’s moving and playing between each other’s lips.

Shiva never took his eyes off Shakti Boy’s. Shakti Boy never wanted to take his away from Shiva’s. Something about this gazing made him crazier for more of Shiva.

Shakti Boy broke the gaze for a minute. He tore off his shirt, flailing his arms to get it off. Shiva stopped him grabbing his arms in a grip like steel and said, “Wait. Stay with me!”

He took Shakti Boy’s shirt and, staring again into his blue, ice eyes, and breathing slowly at the same time Shakti Boy breathed, Shiva gently, firmly pulled the shirt off the long, warm, golden, torso of his amazed, totally aroused second cousin.

“Now, slowly, you take mine off.” And Shakti Boy held the bottom of Shiva’s rose-colored cotton T, which fit him tight to the skin. He lifted the soft cotton shirt slowly over his cousin’s smooth, flat stomach, his pouting bellybutton with the short, golden happy trail, over the curve of his pectoral muscles, his pink and tan nipples, the elegance of his collar bones, and the shining features of his face. Finally they held each other in bare arms, bare-chested, gazing intensely into each other’s eyes. Their breath matched up again. When they kissed, it felt as though they melted into the other’s lips, into his body, into one warm alive feeling. With a buzz of the heart running throughout their skin and tongues, they caressed each other, skin on skin, tan and cream and rose against gold and amber and caramel.

They stopped the kiss and Shiva undid Shakti Boy’s camo shorts and slowly pulled them off, looking into his eyes to be sure his cousin was feeling good and was with him. When his pants were off, he rose to his knees, still keeping Shiva’s eyes in his own, and slowly undid Shiva’s jeans and pulled them down, around his knees, and, when his cousin sat down again, off completely.

They sat naked in the middle of the night, the moon and an old lamp illuminating their skin. Shiva took Shakti Boy’s hands and put them palm down on top of his own, palm up. Still looking at each other, they breathed in each other’s out breath. After two or three minutes of being still and building up their desire, they moved toward each other.

Shiva took Shakti Boy into his lap and sat his naked ass on top of his totally stiff cock so that Shakti Boy could feel the length of it against his hole, even though it didn’t go in. Shakti Boy’s own dick pointed straight up and against Shiva’s warm, white stomach.

Shiva reached behind him and got a condom out of his jean’s pocket with a sample packet of lube.

Shakti Boy said, “You don’t need that. I don’t have anything.”

Still holding his gaze, Shiva said with a smile, “I’m not afraid of catching anything from you. It’s a sign of respect. I respect you so I take care of you.” And he put the condom into Shakti Boy’s hand and placed Shakti Boy’s hand onto the head of his dick. Shakti boy rolled the condom down Shiva’s shaft, making sure to massage it with long, firm strokes as it unrolled. Opening the lube packet with his teeth, Shiva used a hand to rub some silicone lube onto his dick, and then he spent five nice long minutes running his lube soaked fingers over Shakti Boy’s hole. While they breathed, Shiva massaged Shakti Boy’s anus and slipped an occasional finger inside which made Shakti Boy gasp just a little. His hole felt soft and tight, and hot. His cheeks were wide open while he sat, split apart, on his cousin’s lap.

Shiva looked deep into Shakti Boy’s eyes, moved his face so close Shakti Boy could feel both their hearts beating. Shiva touched his lips to Shakti Boy’s own while he slid his erect, 7 inch, uncut cock into Shakti Boy’s wide open, craving hole.

Immediately Shakti Boy felt it. There was something deeper and firmer and dynamic up inside this time. Where other guys had felt raunchy-good and hard and he loved the punching thrust of a fuck, this felt like warm steel with a laser on top that burned through his heart and up through his head and out the crown of his skull with heat and pleasure and emotion he could not explain.

Feeling his cousin inside him he felt like a universe had opened up inside. It was like awe and wonder at the same time that it felt like the deepest sex he had ever let enter him. Shiva kissed him again on the lips, then on the eyes while he ground his hips in a slow circle, moving the dick up inside Shakti Boy. Shakti Boy felt it move around inside like a wand of light in his guts, in his heart, like a Jedi light saber.

An idea came to him in this ecstatic feeling. If his cousin could do this to him, he could give something back to his cousin. He focused looking at Shiva right in the eye, almost projecting his feeling into Shiva. He could sense Shiva feeling it, new intensity. He ground his own hips around in a circle, first matching Shiva’s then going the opposite way. This made a deep feeling inside like magnets when held just a little apart, a magnetic hum inside. He could tell Shiva was feeling it in his dick too because Shiva would gasp a little and his eyes would open wider looking into Shakti Boy’s.

They breathed into each other’s open lips, their tongues playing together, still staring, and grinding in circles slowly, Shakti Boy’s ass lifting up off Shiva’s dick, and plunging slowly back down, sliding down the shaft to the balls, then slowly sliding up off again. Shakti Boy felt that each time he slid Shiva into himself, he opened another universe inside, and that each slide pulled more of Shiva right into him, Shiva’s energy, his life.

Shiva felt Shakti Boy’s anus clench and release as it slid, massaging his dick, sort of shivering at times with energy from the pleasure. Shakti Boy felt Shiva’s dick pulse and twitch inside, moving on it’s own from energy and pleasure.

On for an hour they moved together, circling, grinding, gazing, breathing, playing, kissing, fucking deeply and slowly. Shakti Boy pumped his ass around, up and down in faster motions. Shiva matched his pace, grinding his dick up into Shakti Boy and pulling his ass down and thrusting back up into his cousin’s pleasured hole. Faster they ground and pumped and with a cry that brought one tear to Shakti Boy’s eye, he came, spurting blobs of white cum onto Shiva. His ass tightened as he came which brought Shiva’s head to ecstasy and he came up inside Shakti boy, his dick rigid, pumping forward with each spurt of jism up into Shakti Boy. Shakti Boy felt it like stars shooting off in his head, he could see only a white light for a minute while he came again and again all over Shiva. Shiva felt silver and gold energy shoot up his spine while cool and heat shot up out of his dick, making his mind shut down and go somewhere with out words or thoughts for a moment.

And when they came their last, they sat still, Shiva still inside Shakti boy, eyes closed, breathing just to breathe. Night seemed to settle over them and they went thoughtless into the inner part of their mind, deep and dreamless.

In some time, they felt each other’s presence again, bodies entwined and feeling both sweaty and used and also fresh and physical at the same time. Shiva pulled out of Shakti Boy while he lifted up off his lap. They cleaned up with Shakti Boy’s ever-ready towels and then sat, naked, and laughed and looked at each other.

Shakti Boy wanted something to say, something intelligent or cool so that his cousin would know… but words seemed barred from his mouth. Shiva looked over just then and, catching Shakti Boy’s eye, nodded in confirmation. He knew.

In later months, as Shakti Boy thought of the summer with Shiva, he thought that the best part was that, though they had performed the best sex he had ever known, repeatedly, it was this feeling he had afterward. The sex he had practiced with Shiva left him feeling his own self, feeling his own feet walking on the ground, steadily. He looked at boys now less with the craving hunger of the hornies, and more with a confident appetite, knowing  himself that he knew very well how to kiss them so they would never forget.

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